Tuesday, December 22, 2009

moving on

my head is clearing, little by little and i have an insane and unprecedented abundance of creative energy.  it was very stifled before.  my eyes are opening up as the fog clears.

watched a great documentary on charles bukowski and have gained a lot of inspiration from learning about him.  he worked hard every day and wrote every night.  he was also a misogynistic drunk- but the documentary put all that in perspective and conveyed how he was very human.  anyway- the bit about how hard he worked at his day job and how he did his writing all the rest of the time hit home.  it's where i've been for a long time.  writing and creating on the weekends and evenings.  sometimes i'm too tired for it- but i need to keep going anyway.  there's fire inside me and i have to keep feeding it.  the flames of creativity.

i had an intense dream a few nights ago.  i woke up in the middle of the night and knew it was important that i remember it all, so i told it to my cat and instructed him not to let me forget.  the dream was about how it doesn't matter if the machines/capitalism/patriarchy/anger/etc win.  because as long as we're free, no one can take that away.  real freedom is internal and real freedom is untouchable.  


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